#now it looks like they need a medical bill. im not sure i even have what they need but i cant call and ask because theyre closed

[nyelaexe]

Yet again the same fucking facility needs even MORE paperwork from me. My last deadline to get my other files in was October 2nd and I didn't get the letter until Friday September 29th so I only had that day to scramble and get my bank statements from a fucking year ago. Now it looks like they want me to turn in a medical bill or something. The letter was mailed out on the 3rd - the day AFTER I turned in my bank statements. I'm just now receiving the letter on Friday the 13th and it's due Monday the 16th. Which means I have to call on the day of the deadline to find out what the hell they even need because they're closed right now. And then it's possible that my health coverage will get turned off because I don't have what they need. I'm hoping they'll accept the bill for my medicine that just came in today. But whenever I get mail from this place I always open it to see that the mailing date was nearly two fucking weeks before I actually received the letter. And then I always have to run around the city to get what they need. I don't understand why they gave me until the 2nd to turn in my bank statements and then sent out another letter the very next day that they needed a medical bill. Why not just request all that shit at the same time so I don't keep almost missing my deadlines and losing my coverage?

[skunkes]

Congrats!! if u dont mind, how was it setting up for the surgery ? (Like scheduling it and exams before it)

ok I was actually very very lucky considering where I live and the usual experiences. it's different in every area! some people cant schedule the surgery until they've had a mandatory month long Thinking it Over period, some cant get it done without specific exams having been done first, etc

first of all after years of looking through this list I finally saw a single doctor listed for my city ! Doctor sterilized someone younger than me and childless, so I broke the news to my dad and made an appointment. This guy is always busy helping deliver every single baby born here so I had to wait a month to see him. (called June 3rd, scheduled for July 11th)

I have never been to a gyn before this. Only once, in highschool, across the border for a one time issue. Some people say to schedule a routine exam then bring the surgery up but I scheduled specifically for "surgery consult" -> "permanent birth control." bc im avoiding the necessary exams like the plague.

On the day of the consult i was sick with worry about the hoops id have to jump or what if he only sterilized that other person bc they had a specific medical issue so No I Can't Get It, but I saw him for less than 10 minutes total, he asked me like 2 questions about being sure, and that was it. I told him I had events at the end of Aug and Sept so he said we could do some time in first 2 weeks of august if I was ready. No gyn exams, nothing 😭 and BECAUSE he's so busy I'd likely be his first surgery of the day bc it takes him so little time (I was and it did!)

I had to make a call to the hospital to see if my insurance would cover the hospital services, while the surgery scheduler called to see if it would cover the doctor's services. On July 22 I was called to schedule my surgery, soonest available was today, August 7th! Was told pre op appointment was the 6th (yesterday) and I was sure that's where he would Get Me. like ok cheye lets do all those humiliating exams now. U can't get the surgery unless you do. but it also lasted 5 mins, he just game me the paperwork needed to register at the hospital, and let me ask him all 20 of my questions. nothing else.

Even at the hospital all I had to do the day before was Pee in Cup and Get Bloodwork Done.

finally a win for cheye... insanely grateful for this to have gone so well and so easily in my city. and grateful to keep evading things necessary for my health LMAO

I HAD QUESTIONS LIKE YOU DID THOUGH! so even though my experience probably isnt helpful, you can find the experiences of many other ppls scheduling, consults, insurance calls, and exams in this subreddit! They have lots of informational flairs/categories and ppl even make posts on things you can ask the doctor to bill the surgery as so that insurance has a better chance of covering all of it! I was OVERprepared for my consult from the info I got from here!!! I read every single experience throughout this entire time for mental prep!!!

[dealingdreams]

In many ways I'm not sure I know how to verbalize everything I'm feeling but here are some general things now that I'm a little calmer lol

here is what I'm doing...

I'm starting the process of getting a passport just in case. I don't imagine my financial situation will improve drastically to even be able to afford a plane ticket but I want that option

I'm looking into alternative phone chargers if my power goes out and I need to charge my phone

I'm not doomsday prepping and over spending but the next several times I go grocery shopping I'm buying extra items I usually purchase.

Cat food

Over the counter medications

Period products (for a bit tho I've also been thinking about reusable pads cause a cup just doesn't float my boat lol)

Coffee

Batteries

Toothpaste

Deodorant

Rice

Beans (both canned and dried)

Noodles

I'm putting these items in plastic and/or glass containers to keep fresh and bug free. I'm also making sure I date them so when I bring in new items I make sure to use the old stuff first. I'll buy an extra item for as long as I can afford it just to slowly build up a good amount. Would very much recommend not rushing out an panicking buying.

I'm also purchasing more physical media. Books, CDs, Movies etc etc

____

Now here is my advice. Don't comply in advanced. This will be so much worse if we do nothing. Be prepared, but don't comply in advanced. Don't stop talking about these issues, don't stop creating art, don't give up. Hope is a discipline. Don't comply but be prepared.

Our acts of resistance don't need to be like star wars level resistance okay. Not all of us are fighters, not all of us are safe, not all of us have that skill set even...but small actions to make things just a bit better in the world is just as important. Community is important. It's hard to know where to start especially in the states cause we are so isolated not only in individualism but also cause so many of us have to work multiple jobs...but there are things you can do.

Small actions you can do. You don't have to do all of them but consider your options. Here are some examples...

Get a library card. You can further volunteer if you have the time or the will but even using the library helps provide a lot of resources to your community. Can't physically go to the library then donate used books, or money...or you can download the Libby app and use the library that way.

Want to feed people? Get involved in local shelters, food not bombs, soup kitchens, local community gardens etc etc

Church, finding a church group. I know this is a hot button for folks...but demonizing any faith isn't very radical of you. Also there are many churches that actually might align with your views.

Are environmental and animal welfare issues important to you? Volunteer for clean ups or volunteer at an animal shelter.

___

Also additional things you can do is call and email your representatives both before and after they vote on something. Let them know what you think of a bill, and either thank them or tell them you are disappointed in them depending on that outcome. They might not care but it's worth the effort.

Wear a mask

Say hi to your neighbor

Vote in local and mid term elections. Keep a consistent eye on your voting registration.

___

I'm not the type of person that will tell you well at least it's only four years. A lot can happen in four years...but if we try out best each day (cause sometimes our best is simply brushing our teeth let's be real) to take care of each other we might just end up making this bearable.

Im terrified of this future. I'm a single women. I do own my house but that doesn't make me feel much safer. I'm looking into additional home and personal safety options as well...I'm choosing at the moment to focus in what I can do something about. I can prepare for potential economic collapse within my current financial means, and I can make it a priority to find a community to plug into. Small steps forward.

Love you all

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3443

today has been fuckin ROUGH, my dudes.

i woke up this morning and almost immediately got overwhelmed by stuff. car accident stuff, medical bill stuff, cleaning stuff, putting stuff away, money stuff, literally anything that i had to think about or possibly find i was immediately stressed about. my broken glasses, an unpaid insurance claim, unpaid medical bills that i didn't know where to send, phone calls, breakfast, missing paperwork. literally i sat up in bed with my head in my hands for a solid ten minutes because i couldn't handle looking at my disaster of a room. it just made everything worse.

the anxiety and stress followed me most of the day. it still lingers, even now.

i didn't feel confident enough in myself to be an adult today. in fact, today was one of those days when i wanted to sit with my plushies and rock back and forth all day and be tucked into bed. it felt like i was five. it happens a lot, actually, and it's very frustrating because it happens at the worst possible moments.

i had to push through it. as mom looked for some of my paperwork, she also picked up some of the things in my room that didn't need to be there. it made it a little more manageable. i could at least look at it.

mom and i sat down and looked at paperwork after collecting a bunch. we looked through insurance things for my car accident. i went through and checked things off. i had questions so i wrote them down. i filled out forms and called my claims agent and left a message. when she didn't pick up, mom and i went to the bank to get things notarized. with that done, we got starbucks and lunch and my agent called back just as i was putting my stuff down after coming back. i asked my questions and got some answers. so that was good.

i also got a notification that my ebay package was delivered - the one with my new glasses frames in it. i ran out to grab the mail and i took the box and my purse and went to get my lenses changed into the new frames. i had to wait a bit, and while i waited i realized i was so excited to get my new frames that i'd left my phone on the table at home.

good news is the frames are perfect.

i was able to hit up walmart after for a few things i needed, like my medication refills, some body wash, and a new supply of period supplies, but i also got more decorations for the office for valentine's day and laundry baskets for me and joel. they're a distinct color so no one should fuck it up.

also i scheduled an appointment to get my hair done later this month. mom and i talked about it and she said she was willing to pay for it for me, still. she mentioned it's something i do for my mental health, and she's right. it's been a long time since i last got my hair done, so i'm happy about being able to do it again.

after returning home after all of that, i was tired. mom and i went upstairs and played one of the new games i got for christmas and it was a lot of fun to play. i'll bring it over to play with joel, although a lot of people don't like the same kind of games i do. it kind of makes me sad because people don't like the puzzle games i like so i don't have people to play them with. sure i don't have a lot of time anyway, but id still like to play. i miss playing. so much of my life is just work and sleep and drive and i don't ever really get to just play. i keep plushies with me because i want the comfort of having them with me because i don't have time to dedicate to having them with me. so i just keep them with me. it's. it's frustrating. and it makes me sad.

but yeah not much happened besides a ton of things that needed to be cleared up for my mental health.

next up is cutting my nails. i'm so tired. i'm exhausted and im hungry and im tired and i need a vacation desperately. and probably a new job. it's taxing. i love my job. i love my coworkers. but what i have to do to go to work daily is unsustainable. i've really worked there for six months. i am very fucking close to burning out.

i need to talk to christine. too many things have happened.

also i'd like a joel hug. he gives good hugs and encourages me to only worry about the things i can control. he helps me put things into perspective.

i hope he likes the laundry baskets.

[shilohsylvanian]

really wanna be excited about the sanrio x sylvanian collab because uh, two of my fav things. But they're japan exclusive & limited release and already $83. So the re-sale for being limited is for sure gonna bump it to $250 if not more because sanrio is so popular. (Price based on the last sylvanian collab with laduree bakery) and I literally will never be able to buy it. Lol especially with still paying my dog's surgery from last year and now my cat's vet bills that are quickly stacking (please send us love its not looking great :/). So im just frustrated with my expensive ass hobby and feeling guilty for even looking at stuff when I still haven't been called back for any jobs I've applied for after MY surgery lol Trying to enjoy life is hard rn with all this medical stuff happening to me and my pets. and I feel like a whiney baby being upset about something that I literally don't need considering I have so many toys but the FOMO is getting to me.

[oncominggstorm]

Not ok not ok not ok not ok

Bad bad screaming meltdown cuz I have the worst fucking excuse for a sister in the world.

She texted me and insist I do something I don't feel able to handle rn, something that would actively cause sensory overload, i told her no and that I was getting real overwhelmed and couldn't handle texting (texting gets me SO overwhelmed idk why but it feels PHYSICALLY painful sometimes, like typing everything out so slowly is IMPOSSIBLE), she keeps insisting on explanation of why I can't/insisting she is right anyway, and she completely ignored the explanations I WAS able to force myself to type out, and then brain stops working & meltdown starts.

Ended up screaming out of frustration of not being able to get my thoughts out/being unable to communicate (not able to control this once meltdown starts). Idk if anyone will get what Im talking about. But is like brain just goes offline, cannot control, brain is SCREAMING at me, flashing 404 error, whatever, cannot form words or thoughts just screams, no ability to speak or think.

She then threatens to call the cops (literally ALL I did was let out a scream, IN MY OWN BEDROOM NOT EVEN AT HER/IN SAME ROOM AS HER) like she does literally EVERY time I have a meltdown (even though I have never ONCE been violent during a meltdown), and then told me I am no longer allowed to go see the musical we're supposed to go to tonight to celebrate our little sister's birthday cuz she seems to think she has the ability to control me?

I literally can't do this anymore I hate her so much literally every single meltdown I have is because of her fucking pushing me and ignoring my pleas for her to leave me alone when I'm getting overwhelmed. EVERY single one. Like I genuinely can't think of the last time I had one that didn't involve her pushing me in some way.

And I am fucking stuck with her for the rest of my fucking life. All of the money from dad's life insurance is in her account (and neither of us have a job so that's all we have and idk wtf we're gonna do when it runs out in a year or two but that's a whole other issue). The house is in her name. I am too disabled to work (but i'm not on social security cuz applying is so fucking hard and I have no help or support). I am STUCK.

And she CONSTANTLY is doing this shit. We are BOTH autistic but apparently /I/ am the ONLY one who EVER has communication issues EVER. Every SINGLE time there is a miscommunication she claims /I/ am the one who messed up, not her. Even though it's not true.

Every SINGLE time I have a meltdown she threatens to call the cops on me. Every SINGLE time, she threatens to take away something I desperately want/need/am looking forward to. Every SINGLE time, she gives me an ultimatum.

Like to the point I've started to wonder if this is like, abusive.

But I have NO support network at ALL. I'm not exaggerating when I say I do not have even one single friend. People usually don't believe me/think I just have low self esteem (I actually DON'T have low self esteem) but no it is literally true. The ONLY people in my life are my mom, my two sisters, my grandma (who has late stage dementia), and my therapist (who I usually see twice a week but haven't seen for 7 weeks now because she's on medical leave). That's LITERALLY it. I do not have ANY friends, ANY other family, ANY other people that I interact with regularly at ALL. At all at all.

And she is literally such a horrible person and I am STUCK with her. I do literally ALL of the housework, ALL of the cleaning and chores and taking the trash out, ALL of the making sure household essentials are stocked/reordered, literally EVERYTHING to keep this house going except paying the bills (which she does, except like...they're all on autopay so not really) while she sits and plays video games all day. I sit and listen to her infodump about her special interests that I don't give af about, and interact with her about them, I watch the videos she sends about them and respond, etc etc., but when I try to talk about mine she completely ignores me, or interrupts me, or tells me to shut up. And then she gets mad at me saying I don't spend enough time with her.

Feel so stuck and alone and hopeless and like i just CANNOT do this I need out. It feels like there is NO ONE who loves me, NO ONE who is on my side. Like literally, like I said all I have are my twin sister (who hates me), my mom (who I am not speaking to because she keeps ignoring boundaries and also because she literally said "good" when I threatened to kill myself over the summer and like who tf says that to their child and also cuz she kept trying to make my dad's death about her even though they'd been separated for 27 years when he died), my grandma (who I love more than anything but who can barely string two words together cuz of the dementia), and my little sister (the only person who actually cares about me, but she is also really struggling rn and so we barely talk anymore and also she's 12 years younger than me so I feel bad about leaning on her at all)

I'm just so tired and feel so unloved and unsupported and alone and I just cannot do this anymore

[deadgrantaires]

soooo as i worked up my courage to make a million calls this morning i also got the crushing news that my gov insurance has been ~*canceled*~ and as im trying to cope with that it goes hand in hand with now trying to rate my 20+ medications against each other and decide which ones im going to try stopping altogether bc i literally cannot afford to take them all, especially when my daily inhaler that i need to live/w0rk at all has no generic option and will ALWAYS cost me like $60/month. I have a month left to see doctors before i shut myself in and just live with all my problems forever bc all my problems need testing and all the testign costs hundreds of dollars, of which i do not have in spare cash with my measly p4ych3ck after yknow. rent and utilities and food. so thats out of the question. it also means if/when i get hospitalized again for getting ANY sickness i cannot afford the bill and will just be completely screwed. which is only BETTER because ofc nobody is taking covid seriously anymore despite still being in the middle of an unimporving pandemic. but no eveyrones ability to go to the grocery store without wearing a mask IS more important than my life, who am i kidding

but anyways im just. completley fucked and i guess its good i was always kinda prepared to be completely fucked and its really just a waiting game to see how much all my meds are gonna cost me and budgeting from there. but may have to say farewell to the dreams of seeing a therapist again since idk if i can afford it as a monthly/weekly expense with everything else. added to the fact that i have to keep switching therapists bc they "feel they arent helping me as much as they should" like yeah absolutley bud, the stress and frustration and panic of having to spend my obsolete energy shopping around for another therapist who takes my insurance and isnt meshing at all with me is surely BETTER than u spending the time to try and understand how to help me, as is literally. your job. so i think ill just give up on that!

like as if it wasnt bad enough that im jsut Not Eating half the time anyway bc i dont have any time or energy or will to make myself food. the ammount of times ive just gone to bed without eating bc i looked in the fridge 20 times and eveyrthing i thought about made me feel sick or exhausted me so i said fuck it and went to bed hungry. so like at this point saving money by not going to therapy would at least MAYBE give me wiggle room to buy more food i can actually eat. not that i can. leave the house at all any more since im so burnt out that even thinking about leaving the house on the weekend to get groceries literally saps away my strength all week trying to work up to it. and i STILL cant go out on the weekend. so i literally. dont know howim supposed to survive this other than just. see how it plays out and hope for the best or like. that i kill myself good enough that i just die and dont end up in the hospital with bills about it 🙄

.

[alcoholandcakes]

𝓢/𝓸 𝔀𝓱𝓸’𝓼 𝓪 𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓬𝓲𝓼𝓽

<Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara, Atsushi Nakajima, Akutagawa Ryunnosuke, Yosano Akiko>

Dazai Osamu

- you have a lot of medicine at home

- please lock it away from him so he won’t try another attempt

- you only keep those ones around that he cannot overdose on

- “ HOW CRUEL OF YOU BELLADONNA? YOU DONT EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE NOW DO YOU?”

- “ osamu I do love you but I won’t give you pills on which you can overdose- get that out of your mind right in this instant!”

- you can be pretty strict with him

- but it’s because you’re worried for him

- when he’s sick you always make sure that if you give him medication he doesn’t drink it down with alcohol

- he likes whiskey a little too much

- all in all he is fascinated by the fact that you know every medication, their side effects and what they’re for

- and he likes how you don’t allow him to just take it without your presence but he wouldn’t admit it

- it shows Him you care

- plus you bring him free bandages so it’s a win-win situation for him

Chuuya Nakahara

- you don’t need to worry about him trying to overdose with the pills you keep at home

- but you need to worry about him trying to drink it down with FUCKING WINE

- you always need to remind him to not drink wine

- one time he was a bit irritated and reminded him he started yelling

- “ DO YOU THINK IM THAT DUMB TO NOT KNOW THAT I SHOULDNT DRINK WINE WHEN TAKING IT?!”

- you just stayed calm looking at him with doe eyes and he apologized right away

- there wouldn’t be way too many arguments about it but he would get mad once in a while

- once he got sick and you were at work he tried to find himself some pills but there were so many he literally got lost 😭

- he needed to call you for assistance

- you assisted him as much as you could

- he loves how you can tell him right away what medication is for what

Atsushi Nakajima

- he doesn’t get what medication is for what so he keeps his distance

- you don’t need to worry about him really

- when he’s sick you stay at home with him because he won’t take pills

- he would rather suffer

- you usually give him only painkillers nothing more or herbal tea

- that helps him, he has a strong immunity

- you would even teach him what is for what

- he gladly learns because you’re passionate about it

- he loves to learn about it really

- so he knows the primary ones like frontin, Xanax, ibalgin

Akutagawa Ryunnosuke

- he’s pretty sick

- he has problems with his lungs so yeah

- you actually met him when he went to buy some medicine

- once when he came again you gave him your number on the bill with the text “call me up if ya wanna”

- well he called you out to go on a tea with him

- so you went out and got to know each other better but you mostly talked about pills and what he should take instead if he had bad side effects

- you started calling him after work and brought him his medication without him needing to pay

- first he looked weirdly at you and thought you wanted something from him

- he hardly realized that it was only your kindness

- you did this pretty often because you felt like he needed it

- after you got together with him and move in with him you made sure to always have at home what he needs

- when his condition gets worse you always stay home with him even when he’s so stubborn wanting to go to work

- but you force him to stay at home so he gets atleast a bit better

- he really loves you for it but doesn’t wanna show it

- you always take such a good care of him and now gin doesn’t need to worry so much because he’s in good hands

Yosano Akiko

- when she was getting a re-fill she met you

- she really liked you (love at first sight)

- she gave you her number right away that day

- you called her at the end of your shift and things just happened

- now she doesn’t even need to come to the pharmacy

- she just calls you and at the end of her shift you bring her the medication she needs

- she just loves the fact that your interest kinda match

- you can talk about work and you’ll understand each other

- you guys take care of each other

- when she has time she will bring you lunch to work

A/n: so rn I’m having ideas so yeah<3

I hope you guys stay well hydrated and safe I luv you guys so much <33

28.08.2022- Cali

[chyberriesss]

Alone together

Bill denbrough x reader

Plot:[name] just moved to derry maine. Sadly, it looks like bill isnt the only one who wants them.

I suck at these😭😭

And yes, i was inspired by taylor swift's song dont question it.

More info (?):female reader heavily implied cause im a girl and i dont know how to write for a different gender sorry☹️☹️ also they/them pronouns are used!:))

It was the summer of 89, me and my mother just moved to the lone town of derry. School just finished and i felt like shit. Missing kids cases have been happening alot lately scaring the living shit out of me, i feel like im gonna get kidnapped any minute now, i wonder why tho.

Maybe i'm just being paranoid but i swear i felt eyes watch me as i pack my things to leave the classroom, i was alone, but it didn't feel like it.

I ignore what i felt and walked out heading straight to the bathroom to well, haha.

As i enter i saw gretta taunting some Beverly girl, I've heard about her before but i could care less. I felt bad tho, as i enter a stall to pee. 

Water splashed and leaked on the floor. I waited for gretta and her stupid friends to leave before knocking on the bathroom stall's door to check up on the girl.

"Hey you ok in there?" I asked "uh yeah!' she replied, it didn't convince me tho. 

She walked out the stall, she wasn't covered in anything but i could see her dress was wet. "Hey wait…! Your dress, its well, wet." I stated out the obvious, she just stared at me, WHY DID I SAY THAT.

"oh… yeah" she replied blankly staring at me. "Here, let me just-" i quickly got tissues and wiped her dress, not even finishing my sentence. "The names [name] by the way, nice to meet you" i needed friends don't blame me. "I know, we have the same classes, im bev, you probably know me already." I smiled at her, "nice to finally properly meet you ms marsh." "this isn't really a proper way of meeting someone but sure" she smiled "nice to meet you too." We walked out the stinky ass bathroom and talked for a while.

We finally got out the building bumping into the new kid, ben. He and bev talked about stuff i don't care about after we introduced ourselves. I was just standing there watching them, flirting? Bev grabbed Ben's yearbook and signed it. 

I felt like someone was watching me again, gives me the creeps man. I walked away, looking around trying to figure out who or what was looking at me.

A hand touched my left shoulder snapping me back to reality. It was bev, i forgot i was still with her, "you ok? You look kind of pale." "Im fine, just finally glad that hell hole of a place is done for a few weeks." I say pointing at the school building. She chuckled, "what happened to uh the new kid?" I ask "Ben, and nothing happened to him i just told him i didnt want to keep you waiting." She looked at me like i was some toddler whose impatient enough to just run-off, which i did. "So, you have to hots for him?" I ask "No? God no how did you even com up with that?" "I don't know" i laugh playfully and walked away with her, ignoring that eerie feeling im having.

_____________________________________________

"Why is there so many?!" I yelled in lowercase cause i have to be quiet for some reason."i know, lets just…. Get uh this one..?" Bev was unsure but went with the one she picked anyway.

We were suppose to walk up to the counter when we saw fucking gretta! "Holy shit holy shit holy shi-" We walked faster to the next aisle to see three dudes picking out medical supplies. Bev quickly hid the stuff we got at her back as they stare at us.

"You guys ok?" One of them asks "we're fine whats wrong with you" bev says "none of you're business" the one with curly hair says obviously uneasy with me and bev. "Theres a kid outside that looks like someone killed him" "w-we need some s–s-su-supplies but, we don't have enough money" they say explaining their intentions. "What the fuck" is all i reply.

"Do we reallyyy have to help them??" I whisper to bev hile walking to the cashier "You helped me clean my dress, it turned out great so why not help them?" She said looking at me then back at them. "Thats totally differe-" " i like your glasses mr. Keene" this girl is crazy i swear to god. "You look just like clark kent" i added smiling, this is so disgusting i tell you. "Oh hohoho i dont know about that" he says adjusting his glasses laughing, acting coy. Man he sure is weird and who even says hohoho??? You fucking Santa Claus or something? "Can i try them?" Bev asks, he looks around and says sure handing her the glasses. "You look even better without them mr. Keene." I compliment him, he smiled at me, making me wanna puke my organs out.

"What do you think?" Bev puts the glasses on, mr. keene leans closer to us, "well look at that, you look just like lois lane" he says smiling. What the actual fuck. 

"We should really get going, i mean we wouldn't wanna get in trouble for going out so long." I stated smiling at the both of them with a hint of irritation added to my tone. Bev hands him back the glasses 'accidently' knocking down the container of cigarettes. "Shoot im so sorry" she says "its okay" mr. keene says smiling. He leans down to pick up the cigarettes as i turn back to the three guys, signalling them to go now, they even manage to knock a few things down making me chuckle.

We bid our goodbyes to mr. Keene and left immediately.

"Jesus that was gross" i say "wouldn't want to do that ever again" bev added. 

As we walk down the street we saw the guy who stutters again.

"Um t-take this" he said pulling out a crumpled dollar "even steven" bev says flashing her stolen box of cigarettes. "I'll take it uh…" "bill m-m-my name's bill" "yeah, bill! I'll take this perfectly fine dollar." I smile at him making him turn away. I follow bev to the alley way and see the guys from earlier.

"Holy shit what happened to you" i ask kinda wide eyed when i saw new kid looking like a leaking hamburger. 

"Are you ok that looks like it hurts?" bev asks

"Nah im good… i just fell" ben smiled shyly

"Yeah right into henry bowers" some guy with glasses said making me chuckle, in turn making bev hit my arm. "Ouch" i whispered, rolling my eyes. "Shut it r-r-richie" guy from science class says "why?! Its the truth!" Richie, I assume, exclaimed.  

I keep getting this eerie feeling of someone staring at me again, I look around to see bill looking at me. And here i thought i was being stalked. He looked away immediately looking shy when i caught him.

"You sure they got the right… stuff, to fix you up?" Bev asks "are you flirting with him again? in front of everyone too?" I ask naively. "Im not" she looks back at me rolling her eyes playfully.

"Y-y-ou know what we'll t-t-take care of him, thanks again Beverly, [name]" bill says Glancing at the both of us. 

"Sure, maybe i'll see you around" bev smiled at him. I swear i saw him blush! "Im richie, call me rich for short sweetcakes" the guy with glasses approached me, i assume trying to flirt with me, smiling like an idiot. "You wont definitely be seeing me around anytime soon." I roll my eyes at him. I look at bev giving her a lets go look.

"Wait!" I hear bill scream, me and bev turn to him looking confused. "W-we were thinking of going to the q-q-q-quarry tomorrow i-if you guys wanna come." He asked glancing at us and his friends back and fourth.

"We dont" 

"Glad to know"

Me and bev say at the same time. 

"We'll see if we can come." "Which we wont!" I add winking at them as bev pulls me to leave.

"Y-y-you scared her away r-richie!" "No i didnt pretty sure it was you big bill!" "Shut up richie" "yeah shut up richie" i hear them arguing like idiots as we walk away, making me smile to myself.

"Jeez! Do you see the way he looks at you?! Its so Romantically stupid i tell you!" I exclaimed at bev as we walked "shushhh! Someone could hear you you know! And besides its nothing im sure he's just being friendly" "yeah whatever" i roll my eyes at her naiveness, "im going home, you should too, we might be the next missing kids you know" i say half joking.

 We said our goodbyes and went our different ways. I felt something staring at me again, i just ignored it and walked home faster im not about to get kidnapped motherfuckers.

_____________________________________

THATS IT HOLY SHIT GUYS!!!!

Im planning on making parts to this story, this chapter is basically just an introduction to it and basically just how the characters meet and all hope you guys liked it. I might add a link to a Spotify playlist with songs i listened to ehile i thought of the plot later;)

[angry-geese]

After Hours - Chapter 1: Understaffed

Tags: strip club au, bartender!reader

Pairings: [sukuna x reader], toji x reader, nanami x reader, shoko x reader, gojo & geto x reader, choso x reader

Warnings: blood and injury, bar fights, swearing lol. canon typical violence (technically?). mention of alcohol use. overall sfw

Synopsis: Should some cruel higher power—a god or whatnot—decide to make your life any more miserable, it wouldn't take all that much effort. Between the cafe you worked at having to close down, and your (ex) boyfriend deciding things weren't working out and leaving you to fend for yourself in a city you weren't familiar with, you were beginning to think things couldn't get any worse.

a/n: this chapter is basically just an introduction and entirely plot based so there's no smut yet lol. heavy focus on sukuna in this chapter, however the other chapters will focus more on the rest of the cast

[since i have another longer project im currently working on, there is not a set schedule this series will update on, however i will generally post on here updates about new chapters :)]

Wc: 3.2k

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Masterlist

Should some cruel higher power—a god or whatnot—decide they want to make your life any more miserable, it wouldn't take much effort. Between the cafe you were working at shutting down, and your (ex) boyfriend deciding things weren't working out and leaving you to fend for yourself in a city you hardly know anything about—let alone have contacts in—you were beginning to think things couldn't possibly get worse. But you should know by now not to tempt fate by saying that, because things can always get worse.

The cafe shutting down came as a complete surprise. As far as appearances went, business seemed good. The owner—an elderly man by the name of Niwata—made enough money to put both of his children through college, and afford for his wife to retire early. But new businesses moved into the neighborhood, eventually pushing out the smaller mom-and-pop owned shops. The building, which was already quite old when this shop first opened up, began running down, and with no money left over to fix it up, it remained that way. Yet throughout all of this, Mr. Niwata never let it slip that something was amiss. Even as medical bills for himself and his wife piled up, he was always tight-lipped when it came to the matters of money. And you never questioned it, as you were never given a reason to.

You're not sure what the breaking point was. Some of your coworkers must have sensed something was up, and fled to more stable work. Yet you remained, as the tips were good, and pay covered your rent. City living isn't cheap after all. Not wanting to face the uncertainty of finding new work, nor having to move back in with your parents, you figured you would weather things out.

Mr. Niwata would stay behind and count the registers, and you would sweep; that’s how most shifts ended. Normally such a task doesn't take you all that long, but you liked chatting with him. He became the closest thing to a friend you had after you were stranded in this city. At the end of each of your shifts, he made sure you would make it to the train station on time. And any leftover pastries that you wanted were yours, as they’d just go bad anyway.

He broke down one day, as you were finishing your closing duties. That morning he seemed sick. But with his already ongoing health issues, you hadn't thought much of it.

You stood with a broom in hand, looming over a stack of clean dishes that needed to be put away. Closing took longer than usual. There was a group of students that showed up right before you were supposed to close, and Mr. Niwata couldn't turn them away.

From the register, he collected a mix of bills. All together it made a little under ten thousand yen. You stopped sweeping long enough to shoot him a confused look.

"The shop’s closing," he said, "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner, but this business with your boyfriend- I don't want to make excuses. I should have told you sooner. But I wanted to spare you any more bad news."

"You're going out of business?"

"Not necessarily. I've got an offer to buy the shop. It's enough to pay for my retirement, and hopefully give you enough cash to get back on your feet," he held the cash from the register out to you, "here. Take this. Count it as your tips for the day."

"I can't take your money."

"Didn't they teach you not to argue with someone older than you?" He asked. He tried to feign some kind of sternness, but he couldn't quite seem to commit to it. “And besides, it's the least I can do. They're coming by the shop in the morning, so don't leave anything behind tonight."

You accept the wad of bills, and stuff them in the front of your apron.

“I'll have your last paycheck by Friday,” he said. “If you want to stop by here to pick it up. Or, I could drop it off at your apartment. Do you need a ride home?"

Having only lived in Tokyo for three months at the time, and doing so entirely with your boyfriend (ex, you guess you can say that now), losing your job was devastating. Between a messy breakup, and draining your savings just trying to survive, you weren't sure what to do with your life. Moving back in with your parents wasn't an option, and you haven't spent much time out and about in Tokyo to make many friends. Appreciating the city wasn't something you could truly do until you had broken up. And now that you're no longer together, you don't have the money to do much exploring.

You're tired of this place, and all the people in it. Of making the mistake of dating a man who’d just dump you off in this place. Of being left to fend for yourself. 

For you, adult life was one disappointment after another. Everyone made the city out to seem like this amazing thing, but really, it's nothing special. Cities are, well, cities. They're practically all the same. You came to Tokyo because things were supposed to be different. Life here was supposed to be better than that out in the country. But really, it felt like you were shoved from one forest, into a completely new one.

And then came the Herculean task of finding another job in a city that was seemingly hiring no one. You’ve applied to just about every place on this side of tokyo. Everyone is either not hiring, doesn't pay enough to cover your rent, or demanding something well out of your skillset.

Did you want to apply at various clubs in a shady neighborhood in Tokyo? No. Do you have much of a choice? Also no. 

You're desperate, and tired of eating pre-packaged ramen. 

Your experience at the cafe, combined with a past job as a bartender, leaves you with the skills necessary for this kind of work.

The offer didn't seem too good to be true. It was quite the opposite. You would be working an entry bartending position (graveyard shift—graveyard shift isn't ideal, although you’re not too against it), and you got paid lunches and breaks. The full-time position even offered paid vacation time. The pay wasn't anything amazing, but any tips you would earn would make up for that.

The owner himself seemed a bit standoffish over the phone. That alone should have been a reason for you to turn back, and apply somewhere else. But this offer wasn't outwardly suspicious, and desperate times call for desperate measures. While not a glamorous position by any means, it was simply survival.

So you applied. And within the same day, you were called in to do an interview.

You've heard rumors about the owner—who hasn't? Ryomen Sukuna, a man rumored to be an ex-yakuza. The tattoos are a dead giveaway. Plenty of people have them, sure. It's becoming more and more accepted to have them. But generally, especially with the younger people that get them, they're not so visible. How he managed to leave his previous line of work is up for debate. Some say he took out an entire enemy hideout in a night. But you know real life is nothing like a video game, and that such a feat is unlikely. 

Still, you’re faced with an undeniable nervousness as you cross the street towards the bar, purse under one shoulder, umbrella under the other. The news called for rain this morning. Steeling yourself, you fish your tube of lipstick out of your purse, applying some. The repetitive, familiar action does help calm you down a bit.

The interview itself should be simple enough. Look pretty, show you can make a few drinks, and have decent people skills. All three things you can manage.

The bar is nestled between a run-down laundromat, and what used to be a plumbing supply store. It's certainly an interesting neighborhood. This building looks like it could have had apartments in it at one point, but you doubt they get much use anymore. The front windows are dark, and the only thing signaling that this place is open, is a neon sign out front.

You must have come early, as the music is off, and the overhead lights are on. The room smells faintly of lemon floor cleaner, cologne, and cigarettes.

Ryomen Sukuna is far more terrifying in person. He’s sitting at the bar, elbows resting on it, chatting idly with a blonde man. That you're certain of. You can deal with assholes over the phone—that’s a talent of yours—and you like to think you can hold your own in a conversation, but even you have your limits. The man is quite possibly huge. He’s nearly a foot taller than you—hell, probably more than that, the man is huge—with tattoos running up both of his arms. Even sat down he’s eye to eye with you. The top few buttons of his shirt are undone, and what looks to be another tattoo crests out from under it. Expensive cologne is practically dripping off of him.

"You called me in for an interview earlier," you say, and introduce yourself, holding your hand out for him to shake it.

When he stands, you feel yourself dwarfed by this Adonis of a man. He looks you up and down. Part of you wishes to shrink back under his gaze, but you restrain yourself from doing so.

“You’re not our… typical demographic, but that doesn't mean you can't work.” He says, pinching a lock of your hair between his fingers. It takes everything within you to not slap him there and then. "You look… different enough that I think you could pull it off. Your people skills do need some work though,

"Changing rooms are over there. Showers are on the second floor. So are the lockers, if you need to store your things during your shift,

"So, some ground rules: theft and fighting won't be tolerated. I catch you fighting someone in my club and I'm throwing your ass out on the street myself. You get caught messing with another dancer's belongings and it's the same thing. Tips aren't pooled. Be sure to gather the money off the floor after each set or it's up for grabs by anyone—customer or not.”

"What?"

"Your audition," he says, tapping his foot expectancy.

“I'm uh- applying to be a bartender,” you say.

It's as if a switch has been flipped. His expression softens considerably. Sukuna sucks in a breath, saying a soft “shit”, before standing, and motioning for you. “Cmon,” he says, “we’ll conduct your interview over here."

He leads you to an adjacent room, one that is far better lit than the previous. Sukuna asks you a few questions, ones along the lines of “have you ever been convicted of a felony?” and other basic things about your past jobs. Whether or not he’s impressed, you can't tell; his expression remains the same throughout the entire interview.

"As you may have guessed, we're a bit short handed when it comes to bartenders." He says. "Shoko can only work so much overtime. And Nanami—that blonde guy behind the counter over there—has been filling in where he can, but with his knee injury, there's only so much standing a day he can do,

"Generally you're not going to be serving anything more complicated than shots. But still, occasionally other things will be ordered." Sukuna continues. "VIP rooms typically order by the bottle. As I'm sure you've noticed, vodka is down there, and the champagne is in that cabinet. So are the glasses. Usually whoever is working in the private room will bring the booze, so don't worry about that,

"And I know you're not dumb enough to do this, but I have to tell it to every new hire: don't drink during your shift. If a customer is hounding you to take a shot with them, there's a Grey Goose bottle filled with water right by the glasses. And if the customer is real pushy, get either me, or Toji—that guy over there. You see the one with the scar? We'll sort him out real quick."

"What's the pay look like?" You ask.

"You get paid by the hour, plus you're part of a tip pool between the other two bartenders." He then proceeds to list a number that'll pay your rent at least twice over. "Closing shift gets paid slightly better because it's busier. Tips are better too. Harder work, really."

"And I'm just bartending," you ask, "you're not going to have me do anything else?"

"You may be asked to do some janitorial work, but that's pretty much it,

"Toji and I are technically security. Again, if a customer is ever giving you more trouble than you can handle, come to one of us.”

From his front pocket, he pulls out a pack of cigarettes. Menthols.

"I've read over your resume—and I'm interested. Would you be able to work a training shift tonight? You'll be helping me run the bar for a few hours since Shoko's out." He says. "Thursdays are pretty slow, so don't worry about there being a bunch of customers. Since you've had bartending experience in the past, I don't think a full training shift is necessary, but there's still certain things to go over."

"That depends—how late do you need me to stay?" You ask.

"I'll pay you for a 5pm to 10pm shift." He says. "Technically it's short enough that you don't get a lunch, but I'll let you keep any tips you make tonight."

Shady. At least you're getting paid.

At the very least, you figure if you hate the job enough, you'll call him tomorrow and tell him you're not fit for the position.

“I’ll do it.” You say.

You swear you see the corners of his lips twitch. A look of relief briefly flashes across his face.

The next three hours of the night are rather uneventful. You don't have to do a whole lot other than sit and look pretty, but not as pretty as the dancers. Though, you’re getting paid by the hour, so you suppose there's not a whole lot to complain about. About halfway through your shift, Sukuna gets a call. He disappears into the back, leaving you alone out front. Though things are pretty slow, so there's not a whole lot for you to do. Occasionally people will come by and ask for shots. Tequila usually. You’re not sure where all the chasers are, though.

"How are you settling in?" He asks. Sukuna's voice comes from somewhere behind you.

"Pretty good," you say, "it's taking me a bit to figure out where everything is though—where are the limes?"

Sukuna whips his head around, before sighing, and saying, "I think I forgot to bring them out this morning. I'll get them from the back. Hold tight."

His fingers brush against your lower back as he steps away. He's hardly gone for a minute before the next customer comes in. A man steps up to the bar, absolutely reeking of booze. He asks for a rum and coke. Simple enough. You go a little light on the rum, seeing as he’s shitfaced already.

He appears a bit agitated, and is pacing, but you chalk that up to the alcohol. Booze makes some people just a bit… weird. You greet him with your best customer service voice, cheerily asking what you can get for him. What draws your attention is the set of keys he pulls from his pocket.

“Did you drive here?” You ask. “I can call you a cab.”

He ignores you.

“Hey, I can't let you drive home in this state,” you say. “I'll call a cab. I’ll cover it. Just let me know when you're-”

The man lunges forward, seizing you by the shirt collar. Your nails leave little red stripes down the side of his cheek. And it's as if a switch has been flipped. He goes from mad, to furious. 

The music switches off—a short break between sets—leaving the bar  uncharacteristically quiet. You gain enough leverage to pry yourself free, seeking refuge behind the bar.

Sukuna grabs a glass from the counter, swinging it into the back of the man’s head. The cup shatters on impact, spraying glass shards across the bar. Tiny shards litter the ground, glinting in the dim light much like glitter. He falls flat on his face, and it sounds like he’s snoring. The cut on his temple is hardly visible, but it bleeds. Badly. 

Is he… dead?

"Sukuna!" You're too shocked to shout anything other than his name.

The expression on his face is unreadable, but you don't have to be a genius to know that he’s pissed. Sukuna grabs the smaller, unconscious man by the shirt, dragging him towards the exit.

“You. Outside. Now.” He says, motioning to you.

The contents of your stomach seem to turn to cement. You’re certain you’re now a few shades paler. The cool air feels nice against your burning face. 

Sukuna drags the man out the door, leaving him face down between two dumpsters. This back alley smells vaguely of spoiled milk, and something oddly sweet. You swallow hard, but the lump in your throat is seemingly stuck there.

Sukuna pulls a pack of cigarettes, and a lighter from his pocket. You decline when he offers you one. "I watched him getting a little too handsy with Kento earlier," he says, "I was going to kick his ass out sooner, but he slipped away on me,

“Are you alright?” Sukuna turns to you to ask. “Did he hurt you?”

“Nah, just startled me,” you say. “That's all.”

Sukuna nods, but his expression says anything but agreeance. He joins you in sitting on the steps. You can smell his cologne from here. And it should be a nice smell, but really, it just makes you nauseous.

“Wanna take a few swings at him? Cops won't be here for a while. I’ll say it was me that did it—they’re a lot less likely to haul my ass in for a domestic disturbance.” 

True. A man is less likely to be arrested for a petty fight than a woman is for defending herself. Gotta love living in the city…

"No," you say, after a moment of consideration, "just leave him out here with the garbage." 

You gather a wad of blood and saliva in your mouth, before spitting it out onto his back.

"I'll get you some ice." He says.

"For what?"

"Your hand," he says, "looks like you got that guy pretty good."

Sukuna groans as he stands. Rain clouds gather overhead. Bad weather for an even worse mood. How fitting. You suppose you spoke too soon about the rain. Slowly a dull ache spreads through your knuckles. There's no blood, but dark bruises are beginning to bloom under your skin. He returns a moment later with a ziplock bag full of ice cubes, and a towel. He takes your hand in one of his much larger ones, pressing the ice pack against it. Despite everything about him being quite rough, his hands are gentle, and warm.

"I completely understand if you no longer wish to work for us." He says. "I must say, what happened tonight is not a normal occurrence. Such a thing isn’t-"

"Sukuna," you say, interrupting him, "I'll take the job."

[erythrum]

𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓

𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘖𝘯𝘦

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨,𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧,𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦,𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘹,𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘴,𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝙖/𝙣: 𝘪𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1.9𝘬 +

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘨𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘺/𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

The boneyard was a melting pot, pogues, tourons, and kooks unalike all gathering for one of the last kegger's of summer. This mash together of kids from all over Kildare and the mainland always ended in chaos, it was just a matter of time before shit went down tonight.

Rafe had his arm thrown around my shoulders as we walked down the path to the boneyard. I could faintly see Topper and Kelce downing the cups of pogue provided beer. Didn’t matter whether or not the kooks or pogues could get along, as long as it was on the cut and alcohol was provided, the teens could get along for a limited amount of time.

“Hey y/n! What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving for college this week?” It was Sarah who yelled out to me, running up to her brother and I in her floral printed dress. Rafe’s arm dropped to his side as she came with Topper not far behind.

“Oh I just couldn’t miss my last kegger before leaving, Duke can wait on me one more day.” The two of us embraced in one of those hugs that has you shifting your weight from side to side. I guess she didn’t realize I wouldn’t leave for college for another month, but I was sure she was already too drunk for me to explain it to her that she was not thinking of the right month.

As Sarah was hanging onto me probably a little too tight, Topper was giving Rafe one of those looks that said everything but also nothing at the same time. Like prior knowledge had to be known to understand the context. I of course did not, those two always had some stupid shit planned and I can almost guarantee it had to do with messing up the pogues’ little party.

The sun hung low on the horizon after I had finished my third cup, the colors illuminating the sky so brilliantly it felt like a fantasy. I stripped off my top and headed for the water, the pinks and purples of the sky reflected in its crashing waters. It was so cold, the temperature sent shivers up my body and a familiar rush in my energy. Almost waist deep now, I submerged my body completely under the water. It was always how I remembered it, calm and refreshing.

“C’mon Rafe! Don’t be a little bitch and get in there, I see the way you look at her,” Topper spewed, pushing his friend to have a little courage.

“Man what the fuck are you even talking about?” Deny everything Rafe thought.

“Oh come on dude, you’ve been making please love me eyes at her since the sixth grade, and please fuck me eyes at her since the tenth, when are you gonna do something about it for once? You’ve got a month to make a move, or regret it your entire life,” Topper continued his monologue as Rafe tuned him out, too distracted by the girl, his girl, staring out into the Atlantic like it was calling to her.

His heart was pounding as he made a B-line for the water, a light jog, but not so fast someone would think he’s crazy, or just madly in love. He swiftly pulled his polo over and off his head before plunging into the chilly water. Topper clearly knew whatever he'd said had worked.

I heard him before I saw him, Rafe approached and submerged himself just as I had a few minutes before.

“If we get hypothermia I'm sending you my hospital bills.” He laughed, wading around in the shallow water.

“Oh shock! Rafe Cameron threatening his medical bill payments? I never could’ve guessed!” We enjoyed our few minutes of peace before talking again.

“But it’s basically impossible anyways, you get use to it after awhile, maybe it’ll calm your hot-headed ass down,” I giggled and prepared for what always came next. Rafe pickup me up around my waist, lifting me over his shoulder before attempting to sprint as fast as he could deeper into the water. His hands had been wrapped around the back of my knees for a few moments until he threw himself and I down into the deeper water, both of us completely submerged beneath the surface.

The sun was dipping below the horizon now, and the deep blue of the sky was beginning to envelop the boneyard. We had come up for air, and I began splashing him with the water around us, payback for his antics. Theres no way in hell I’d be able to throw him down into the water too, this was the best I could come up with. The two of us were laughing before Rafe grabbed my arms and twisted me around so my back was flesh against his front. I gave up on trying to fight him off. Instead I just rested against him in an attempt to catch my breath.

“Hey Rafe, can we talk about something?” Oh fuck she knows, he thought. This was gonna be it, it’s going to fuck up his entire plan.

“Yeah, uh sure, like here?” He questioned.

“Maybe not here, I think we’ve got as audience,” he knew she was referring to Topper and Kelce, they were watching from the beach.

"The truck then?" I nodded my head, not at all prepared for the favor I needed to ask of him.

The sand stuck to my feet as we headed back to where his truck was, the chilly air wrapping around my body. Rafe opened the backseat door and pulled out a towel for me, always prepared. He pulled the passenger side door and I slid into the seat, the heat of his car pumping through the interior. My heart was pounding, but I wasn’t sure if his was too. We made it about halfway to tannyhill before speaking.

“Soooo,” he said.

“You’re going to think I’m absolutely crazy, Rafe," I laughed in an attempt to hide my nervousness.

"First of all, you're already crazy, and second of all, I'm pretty sure I know exactly what you're going to say," his hands were clenching the steering wheel harder now.

""Oh really? You already knew that I was going to ask you to take my virginity?" I don't know why, but I just blurted it out.

His car came to a screeching halt on the side of the road, lunging me forward as he stared in disbelief at the road infront of him.

"Im sorry, what did you just say?"

"That I want you to take my virginity? V-card? Cherry? Damn Rafe how else am I supposed to say it?"

"And," there was a pause in his voice like he didn't believe me, "your being serious, correct?"

“Correct.”

“And, come again? I need to hear that one more time.”

“Jesus fuck Rafe, I’m being dead serious, I want you to take my virginity, what about that is so hard to explain?” It came out as more of a yell than a scream, he took a long sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. He was thinking long and hard, I knew because he always had something to say, and now he wasn’t saying anything at all. It felt like hours had past before he spoke again.

“Why?”

It was my turn for a long sigh.

“Well, I guess I’ve been thinking about it for awhile, and I want to do it, but whenever I think about it in my head the only person I can see doing it with is you. You’re the only person I trust enough with my own body, I mean shit,” I had to think for a long time before admitting what came next.

“Whenever someone, you know like Scarlet or whoever, asks about who I’m interested in or whatever it may be, not a single person ever comes to mind except you, it’s like all I see when I look at you is you, everything else is like blurred around you and whenever I think about who the love of my life will be, I always think of you, not some mystery guy that I haven’t met yet.” I didn’t plan for this to be a full confession on how I feel about him, but here I am spilling everything I’ve been holding in my heart for the last three years.

“And I know that sounds fucking stupid I know, I mean we’re still teenagers for crying out loud, but when I’m with you it always feels like I’m home.” I was nearly crying at this point, struggling to get the words out of my chest that had been waiting for so long. He was listening, deadly quiet, and I had no idea what he was thinking for once in my life.

“You know what? Just forget about it, can you take me home please?” I was definitely crying now, it felt like I’d ripped my own heart to shreds. Theres no way he could ever feel the same way about me, he protected me like I was his own blood, not like he was in love with me. My face was nestled into the sleeve of my hoodie as the tears came out. His hands had moved back to the steering wheel now, gripping onto it so tight I thought it might break. The muscles in his forearms almost looked like they were twitching, but he still had the car in park.

He wanted to just grab her and kiss her right now, the girl he'd been in love with since the sixth grade sitting in his passenger seat, her seat, confessing her feelings to him. Rafe knew it was alot for her to ask, but it meant even more to him everything that she had said after her original question. And there was no way in hell he was going to let her get away again.

Rafe reached his hand over to hold onto her tear stained cheek.

"y/n," The bother of them were breathing heavily.

"I'm in love with you," it slipped from my mouth and he leaned in to kiss me. It felt like I had a wave of electricity coursing through my body. His hand grasping onto my face as he leaned over the center console. My hand reaching for his chest, his lips on mine as we intertwined with one another. It felt like everything in my life was complete, and the tension has been released. His fingers tangled in my hair.

It was over before I realized it, and Rafe was driving me home. My breathing hadn't normalized in any way, it was like I needed to throw up my heart to get the knot out. I couldn't stop thinking about the way his had felt on me, the way his lips felt on mine, the way it felt for once in my life like I was loved.

"i'll think about it," his voice cracked.

I leapt out of his car as fast as I could with tears streaming down my face. Did he feel the same? Did he not? My brain was spinning so fast I barely made it inside my bedroom door before collapsing. I wrapped myself up in the thick comforter, a heart full of ache and a body exhauster with sleep.

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

[smaeblogthings]

Maybe all these past few years, God just want you to heal. He sees you

I dont want to pressure myself on thinking, making or heading to "make it" so BIG. I will just let it BE. Thinking so far ahead just feeds my EGO and creates an identity my soul never wanted to be to begin with. All the matters of the heart will be fixed. I am where I needed to be. God, the universe, life is allowing me to rest until I am ready to leave. (LOL another life) nope. I really felt strongly in living in Baler. I know it's far from home but my heart is now so suffocated being here. From and since the last failure that I had with being part of an NGO, I became always afraid in taking risks and following my heart. I am blessed and I want to see the blessings of life and privilege rather than see the limitations and fears my family is imposing and manifesting on me. I already have everything I need. Everything I own now is enough for me to LIVE and multiply and MAX OUT this life. I just want a life of PLAY and be child-like. Everything is like a kind of play, budgeting, listing things I need to do, figuring how to do life, PLAY, i FIND IT FUN and as if a "figuring out to life" play. I WANT A HUMBLE YET AUTHENTIC LIFE. :) ✅ Found a place for rent thinking if i'll choose the pink or blue room the blue room is smaller but far from the other rooms the pink one has big space but i feel hotter during the afternoon plus there's a big mirror with chair that im uncomfortable with. If okay to move the mirror, let's go with the pink. I would love it to be minimalistic. but all in all the house that I found looks comfortable and fancy. I see myself living there and kind of having an "office" or nook for my businesses and other endeavours. WE'RE PIVOTING GIRL! I'm okay to go there and rent even if there's no internet there yet. Need to save 3,500 + 3,500 (one month advance and one month deposit) Maybe, move next month. :) To Go soon: MONEY GAME 🤟 Save-up 100k emergency funds - we are currently in 20K, 80K more to go! :) so close na yan, lapit na yan! Make sure we still support "the house". :) Monthly contributions will be 1699 - internet 500 - half of the water bill 1000 - gas of car 1000 - food Total: around 4,500 to 5000 (rounded-off) I think that would be ENOUGH now. Since I am also living with 4 adults who should and must be responsible for their own shits as well. I think tama na yan for my own healthy boundary din. I really HATE it when I take responsibility for others who don't really need help anyways, it doesn't help any of us and it is not love. Irresponsible people only drags people down. HAVE A GRIP OF YOUR OWN GOD-GIVEN LIFE. 🤟 Apply in a resort in Baler. Move there. Even just for a year. Let's see if we can still love the place LOL 🤟 Get a DRIVER's LICENSE This feels so right with my adventures, just living and exploring. I have a dream of having my own car. A mini-cooper!! is the ultimate car! but since it is expensive and will take a lot of work yet, perhaps, i don't know what's going to be yet, our family car can do yet i think. :) 🤟 GET DIAGNOSED OF MY MENTAL HEALTH BY A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL and use my medical perks from work yet. Perhaps, next month! We'll schedule it. It actually costs 5,000 to take the assessment and be diagnosed. My GHAD okay let's just take it as an investment and for the l o v e of parenting ourselves. Writing this down makes me happy. 🤟 BUY KINDLE TABLET for my love of reading and learning unconventional and weird things. I guess I'll sell my Samsung Tablet. I am not using it anyway. YEAHH Let's sell it. Parang gusto ko magsulat ng ebook? Let's see. 🤟 FIX MY WEBSITE Not for anything else but as if it's a portfolio and digital phot album of all my life and stuffs. 🤟 EARN atleast 20-30K ACTUALLY I WANT 100K monthly in fourfourteen studio or if it's too stressful just onboard people that makes life chill. or just volunteer for NGOs i've had networked with I really want to work for social enterprises. Fun shoots etc 🤟 BUILD BABY ECO ARKI I really do hope Kuya Ninoy will make it work I really do hope I can go there and shoot

photos 🤟 I REALLY DON'T

WANT TO BE IN LOVED WITH ANOTHER PERSON NOW 🤟 IDK LET's GOOO. I GENUINELY DON'T KNOW I LOVE IT THAT I'M NOT IN TOUCH WITH PEOPLE LATELY AND JUST BE TECHNICALLY FOCUSED ON LISTENING TO MYSELF. I LOVE IT.

I LOVE IT. ADVENTURE IS REALLY IN MY DNA. I can't live a "boring" life. It SUCKS THE SOUL OUT OF MY LIFE. HUMAN CONNECTION! Experience whatever it is to be human. i can't just care for another human being just yet You've got to find what you love. Don't settle. - Steve Jobs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tuw8hxrFBH8 ps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCHFYOHlbBk I resonated with the personality of this girl. This is so cute. And I have always had an eye for cute things. And I love cute things! LET'S MIND OUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. Thanks! and with LOVE, S p.s ahhhh so random, any thoughts and feelings? this is me exactly now as in this moment LETTING IT ALL OUT ALRIGHT LET'S GO

[mikiruma]

can i just say since ive been seeing it float around on my twitter timeline and it's been reminding me of the online community in general: transmasc spaces have huge misogyny & transphobia problems but nobody wants to address them. the way ive seen some transmascs go after lesbians over enjoying mlm content and the way transmed spaces are very carefully curated to engineer the most amount of shame possible. im entirely convinced these are self worth motivated stunts bc i cannot fathom thinking "i used to think i was a girl & now i don't like seeing myself that way, surely this must mean all women are bad" or "im a fairly masculine trans person who has lots of medical/social/legal transition goals, surely this must mean everyone who doesn't is a liar"

i think the reason it's not addressed is because of how personal these issues are sometimes, but like. when the personal issues become contagious and ppl start making excuses for shitty behavior on these bases, you stop looking like someone who's a little shaken from your rough transition and start looking like a regular transphobe & misogynist. internet transmascs need to be better at holding each other accountable and giving each other support when we need it. literally the only thing being accomplished by this is community division, which is the last fucking thing we need right now considering. well. vaguely gesturing towards the supreme court & state laws/bills. do i even need to explain why all internet discourse right now is completely meaningless

[batfam-bish]

Hi I was wondering if I could get a match up? I hope I give the right amount and the type of info that’s helpful I was hoping for the Batfam and/or the young justice team if you write for them as well. I’m a nonbinary Pansexual I use any pronoun but most use she/her or they/them. I’m an April Taurus so bill headed can be an understatement at times. When I want to do something or feel like something needs to be done I will not take no for an answer but that can also cause tunnel vision as well. I’m 5 foot 2 1/4 inches tall and I’m a tad on the chubby side but I also do weight training so I hope some it that is muscle. Some people think that since im on the shorter side my height will stop me from telling taller people who are being dicks to can it. But im not I will looking up at them look them dead in the the eyes and tell them to not fuck with me or anyone I care about or I will beat the shit out of you!!

When it comes to personality I’ve been told I’m quite eccentric loud and hard to miss. I’ve had several cases of people i didn’t know in high school coming up to me and use my name and talk to me even though I had no idea who they were. I do stand up for those who can’t I’ve got into a lot of fights at school for underclassmen especially those who were part of the LGBTQA+ community, I never pulled any punches I’d kick their ass I don’t care how big you are fuck that noise! Even though I’d beat the shit out of people that deserved it I did make it clear to others that I never had my phone on Do not disturb since I was always available to talk to people in crisis i didn’t care who it was or who they got my number from if you needed someone I’d be there no matter what hour of the day. I want to make sure people are comfortable around me so I do ask people to let me know if something I do or say bothers them so I can correct it accordingly. I unfortunately suffer from a handful of health issues both physically and mentally, mentally I have anxiety, paranoia, depression and bipolar disorder I’m on medication for all of them but I’m still working on those things. And physically I have an autoimmune disease as well as endometriosis and have gotten surgeries to hopefully help. But I do take time to write some of my stories as well as drawing/crafting. I’ve developed a strong love ans passion for cooking and baking always find and trying new recipes and fixing them here and there nothing makes me happier than seeing other enjoy my meals and desserts so I make plenty for others to have enough for left overs so people leave my place with full bellies and some grub for later!

Sorry if this is too much info or just flat out doesn’t help I appreciate you’re writing and I’m excited to see if who you’d match me with!

CONNER KENT

no because he would literally appreciate you so muchs like literally just your personality makes me automatically say him because it would be such a great paring. also he would always be down to help you with mental and physical things going on. he would admire you for how good you are to people but also always ready to kick ass.

i am literally so sorry this took so long i had long term covid and it really kicked my ass this summer. but i am much better now !!! always thank you for saying you appreciate my writing it means a lot !!!!

[hargrove-mayfields]

so sorry im late asking this (i was waiting for you to get more, super surprised you didn’t get more asks tbh) but could I hear more about your wips “I have a crush on Barbara Holland” “baby fic” and “HOH Steve” also if it’s not too much “girlyfriends” and “cali house” and “medical emergency” ik ik that’s a lot but I’d honestly want hear about ALL of you wips in that list if i could. thank u in advance

It’s alright anon! I’ll accept these asks until I run out of WIPs to talk about!

I have a crush on Barbara Holland- This one is a soulmates au, where Steve has his soulmates initials, B.H., on his wrist, and he is whole heartedly convinced that that person is Barb. He’s very much in love with her, and there’s lots of talk about how pretty and nice she is (hence the title lol) but eventually she reveals that he isn’t her soulmate. Before she had hid the initials on her own wrist under a watch or a chunky bracelet, but she feels guilty, and shows Steve that her mark had long ago faded, because her soulmate passed away when they were in elementary school. Steve decides, despite how much value he used to hold in the whole soulmate thing, he doesn’t care about who some stupid mark says he should be with, so him and Barb date until her death. He’s heart broken, but the sadness very quickly turns into so much anger after Billy Hargrove, another B.H. rolls into town with a little S.H. on his wrist. He feels like the universe or whoever is even in charge of this soulmate bullshit is spiting him for thinking he could fall in love with someone he wasn’t destined to be with, so he rejects Billy for a long, long time, even after he himself figured it out that Steve is his match. When he does start to feel that way about Billy, he struggles with so much guilt and has to go through a very long grieving process to be comfortable with his feelings, because he’s not even sure if they’re his genuine feelings or the work of this soulmate bond. Very long and very angsty.

baby fic- Nancy gets pregnant that first time at the party with Tommy and Carol, and her and Steve try really really hard to make things work out for their baby, but it just isn’t meant to be. They make an arrangement that the Harringtons are very not pleased with, where Nancy has the baby at the Byers house half the time (because let’s be honest I think the Wheelers house is not really a safe place to be raising a baby) and Steve has her the rest of the time. Because it was like, a much more mature breakup without the cheating and the drunken confessions, they’re still pretty close friends. When the upside down starts making an appearance again, they have to try to figure out how to navigate it with this little four month old baby, and that means getting some help involved. Billy shows up at the Byers and instead of a fight, Steve’s all exhausted like oh good, you’re finally here, and gives him the worlds fastest run down of this monster fighting shit with a crying baby on his hip, and like, Billy just can’t say no to him asking him to go into the tunnels while he watches the baby. There is eventual Harringrove after a while, but it’s a slow burn for sure. This is also probably the least serious and least angsty thing I have ever started to write.

HOH Stevie- They’re all in the government hospital getting their post Starcourt once overs, Billy and El of course being rushed into surgery, and Steve’s about to get discharged when he gets addressed by name and just, does not respond at all. The doctor is like hmm, and checks his ears, and they find out he has almost no hearing in his left ear, and only about forty percent in the right. All that head trauma from the Russians and then all of the explosions of the fireworks, it leaves him deaf.

Everyone tries to be supportive, but his dad refuses to let him get hearing aids because he doesn’t believe he actually needs them (Steve’s a diagnosed hypochondriac) so for the next several months while his parents are still home waiting for their next trip, he’s struggling. He basically gets iced out by the party because he just can’t hear anything they’re saying, and the kids get tired of repeating themselves, and Nancy got insulted the one time he told her her voice is too quiet, and Robin wants to do things right for him, but she forgets sometimes, and will ramble on about something without looking at him and everytime he’s like great, I didn’t catch a single word of that, lovely talk though. It’s very frustrating and isolating and nobody seems to want to make accommodations for him.

The very same day that his parents leave for their latest vacation, he goes back to hospital. At first he just has to get more testing done, since it had been upwards of six months since the last time they saw him, and on his way out he notices Max in the waiting room chairs. He hadn’t seen much of her at all since Starcourt, so he checks on her, and at first she tells him to go away, because her friends have said some not so nice things about how much time she spends at the hospital, and assumes Steve is there to tell her Billy isn’t worth it too. Because that’s not the case, he ends up going in the room to visit Billy with her.

They do the small talk, the awkward, sorry about the fact that you’ve been in the hospital for six months now and nobody wants to come see you thing, and at some point Billy realizes that Steve can’t hear a damned thing he’s saying. He tests his theory by saying Steve’s name when he’s not looking and just waiting for him to answer but, surprise he doesn’t because he didn’t hear it at all, and Billy’s just like, you’re deaf aren’t you?

The progression of the fic is basically Steve coming to visit Billy everytime he has an appointment for his hearing (and more, but Bill doesn’t know that) but the day of his last appointment to make sure his hearing aids are functioning as well as they ever will for how bad off his hearing is, Billy’s acting different.

When he’d first walked into his room Billy had been surprisingly bright eyed and bushy-tailed for what he went through, but now he’s just acting all mopey. Max makes him tell Steve what’s wrong, and he confesses that he feels like he’s going to get left behind now that Steve’s all better, because then he has no real reason to visit him anymore. But Steve has one very good reason, and the rest of the story is him making sure Billy knows it.

girlyfriends- This’n’s sort of a non-canon compliant character study about aromantic! Billy, focusing on how awful and uncomfortable he felt with his past girlfriends, messing up dates and never going as far as they wanted him to, which at the time he pinned on liking boys instead, but then after he gets with Steve, he feels like this is different and he likes it, but he’s still not too big on all the lovey dovey, romance stuff. He rationalizes it as like, maybe just being a side effect of him being an asshole or something, but he‘s actually super insecure about how he is in relationships. There is a fluffy resolution though where he embraces his identity, it’s really not all doom and gloom, boo hoo I hate myself stuff.

cali house- Years after Starcourt, the boys have moved to a decent house in California using their government hush hush money, and they’re there for only about a month when Billy’s mother shows up at their door.

She says she caught wind that her son was back in town and wanted to come see him, after all this time. Billy of course lets her back in his life immediately, his mom meant so much to his recovery process and now that she’s here, he can’t turn her away, but Steve’s a little suspicious of her intentions.

He thinks that if she wanted to see Billy, she would’ve done that years ago before he ever even left Cali in the first place, or that you know, she wouldn’t have fucking left him behind. He tries to bring it up with Billy gently, but he won’t hear it, and he feels beyond hurt by the suggestion because he thinks Steve is just jealous that he’s spending time with his mother, who he hasn’t seen for upwards of fifteen years at this point.

They fight and avoid each other for a few days until Billy’s momma admits when he brings it up, over lunch or something saying like, “Steve thought you were using me or something, isn’t that crazy?” and she’s just like “Well, actually...”and tells him that money was tight, and she needed a little extra money, so Billy and his disability checks and his rich (boy)friend seemed like the perfect opportunity to get some.

He goes back home to Steve and expects him to be mad, to rub it in that he was right, but he’s really not, he’s super supportive, and you know, Billy finally realizes he doesn’t need to have this bullshit family thing with his mother, because he already has one, Max and Steve and his friends and all the people that actually care about him.

medical emergency (tw attempted suicide)-

Billy, who’s living on his own in an apartment downtown after Starcourt, deliberately doesn’t get his prescriptions refilled because he’s so done. He’s weak and he’s hurting and he doesn’t feel like himself anymore, and he just feels like he wouldn’t care if his body gave up, if he suffocated in his sleep or had another heart attack. So he doesn’t take care of himself, and when he runs out of oxygen he just doesn’t go get anymore, but he’s halfway to choking on his own blood when he realizes he doesn’t want to die.

He calls Steve, because he’s not calling the cops and he can’t remember anyone’s numbers in his panic, but Steve’s is written on his calendar, scribbled there because they were supposed to make plans for something with the kids. Steve takes him to the hospital, having to fight him to put the CPAP on him to make sure his lungs didn’t collapse before they could get him to Hawkins General, and Billy’s just, so bone tired.

They do all their treatment stuff and get his body back under control, so Steve finally asks him what happened, if maybe he needed someone around to help him remember his meds and stuff, and Billy just, he breaks, like a dam overfilled he just pours out with all of this helplessness and sadness he’d been feeling, how he doesn’t want to live the way he does or at all anymore, and Steve’s heart just breaks for him.

He moves in with him, nobody’s willing to leave him alone after what happened, and Steve (along with Billy getting a new therapist because the old one was incompetent enough to not notice how bad off he was) helps him to realize he has something to live for.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤